For both options · Questions
Questions and answers
Short answers to the questions that come up most, before you write. Each answer links to the page with all the details.
Is he a real person? How can I check?
Yes. His test results on this website have dates. After your video calls, he tells you his name and gives you his full reports. They carry his name and the laboratory’s name. He goes first: What he tells you later lists everything, with the moment he shares it.
Does he ask for money?
No, never, with either option. In Option A, he is the one who sends money for the child. In Option B, he pays his own costs and you pay yours. If anyone asks you for money in his name, it is not him.
How do I stay safe?
Talk by video before you meet. The first time you meet, choose a public place and tell a friend where you are. Do not send photos or documents before you have decided. If you ever feel pushed, stop. You do not have to explain why.
What is the difference between the two options?
In Option A, he stays in the child’s life from far away: calls, a few visits a year, and money every month. In Option B, he helps you get pregnant and then steps away. There is no contact and no money, and no claims on each other. The home page compares them side by side.
Can he take the child, or change my life later?
No. With either option, the child lives with you. He will not ask for the child to live with him, and he will not try to change where the child lives. In Option A, you have the final word on big decisions. In Option B, he has no say at all.
Is this a romantic relationship?
No. He does not want a romantic relationship, and it will not become one. In Option A, you are two parents who respect each other. Your relationship with him explains what that means.
Is he healthy?
The page His health and fertility has his fertility tests, his tests for infections, a full health check and a police record. Each one carries its date. You see the full reports after your video calls.
How would I get pregnant?
In Option B, only with artificial insemination, at a clinic or at home. In Option A, you choose the method together after your video calls, and either of you can say no to any method. How you get pregnant explains why.
Does he talk to other women?
Sometimes, and he says so openly. He reads and answers every letter himself, and if you ask where things stand, you will get an honest answer.
How long does it take?
He answers every letter within 7 days, even when the answer is no. From your first letter to a decision usually takes 6 weeks or less. What happens after you write shows each step.
What happens if he dies?
In Option A, he plans to name the child in his will. Nothing changes about where the child lives or who raises the child. If he dies explains his plan.
Do I have to give my name in my first letter?
No. You can write from an email address that says nothing about you. You can stay anonymous until he has told you who he is. Just say so in your letter.
Will he be the child’s legal father?
It depends on your country, and sometimes on how you get pregnant. In many countries, a man the child can identify may be the legal father, whatever you agreed. It is worth knowing what the law says where you live, before you decide.
Which languages can I write in?
English, French or Chinese. He reads all three well.
Is your question not here? Ask it in your letter.