For both options · About him
About him, in his own words
What family means to him, the values he lives by, and his faith. If you see these things very differently, it is better for both of you to know now.
His health and fertility are on their own page, with dates and documents. This page is different. It is about what he believes, so there is nothing to check here. There is only something to agree or disagree with.
He writes openly about his values so that you can decide before you spend any time. This page will grow as he writes more.
What family means to him
Some women want to raise a child alone, with no father in the child’s life. Others want a father who stays in touch from far away. Each woman has her own reasons, from her own life and her own beliefs. He respects both choices. That is why this website has two options.
Whatever you choose, one thing matters most to him: the child grows up with love, care and stability.
The values that matter to him
He tries to live by these values. He would also like a child of his to grow up with them.
- Respect. For yourself first. Then for your parents, your family and other people.
- Creativity and hard work. Making new things, working hard, and doing each job carefully and well.
- A real life, not a life for show. Living for what matters, not to impress other people or from fear of what they think.
- Curiosity. Wanting to understand how the world and society really work.
- An open mind. Interest in other cultures and other beliefs, and respect for them.
- Thinking about the long term. Before doing something, thinking about what it will do over time: to the people close to you, and to society.
- Working with others. Choosing people and groups who work together for peace and a good life for everyone.
In Option A, he hopes to pass these values on through his calls and visits. His part in raising the child explains how. In Option B, he steps away after you get pregnant, so how the child is raised is your decision alone.
His faith
Faith matters to him, but he does not follow any religion. He has his own simple spiritual habits, inspired by nature.
He respects every religion, and he often finds good ideas in them. You do not need to share his beliefs.
When it is not the right fit
He chooses carefully who he helps to have a child. Some things decide it for him, even when everything else fits. He writes them here, so that nobody spends time on something that cannot work.
- Drug addiction. A child needs a safe and stable home.
- A same-sex relationship, now or in the future. He wants a child of his to grow up in a home that matches his own family values.
- Extreme religious views. He respects every faith. Views that reject other people and other beliefs are different.
- A way of life that is very far from the values on this page. He would rather say so now than after your video calls.
This is true for both options. Option A lasts many years and asks more of both of you, so for Option A he chooses even more carefully.
This is not a judgement of how other people live. Every woman has the right to live her life as she chooses. He also has the right to choose who he helps to have a child. If one of these is true for you, he wishes you well. He hopes you find the right person to help you.
Your values count too
The letter asks about the values you want to pass on to your child. There is no right answer. He reads it to understand you, and to see how close your values and his are.