Option A
Option A: a baby, and a father who stays in touch
He helps you get pregnant. After the birth, he stays in the child’s life from far away. This page explains how he imagines it. You decide the details together before pregnancy.
The child lives with you, and you raise the child. He is part of the child’s life from a distance. He calls regularly from the start. He visits a few times a year. He sends money every month to help pay for the child. As the child grows, he hopes to be there more, especially in the teenage years.
None of this is a fixed timetable. It is a plan, and you shape it together: how often you talk, when he visits, and how much money he sends. You agree on it before pregnancy. Then both of you know what to expect.
What each of you gives
What he gives
- Money every month, based on the cost of raising a child where you live
- Calls or video calls, about once a week
- A few visits a year, and more as the child grows
- Advice and help as the child grows, as much as the child wants
- His health tests, and his full medical reports after your video calls
- His opinion on big decisions, and respect for your final choice
What he hopes for from you
- A general health check before pregnancy, like the one he did
- News about important things: health, school, moving home
- Time for his calls and visits, and kind words about him to the child
- Honest communication: answering in reasonable time, and talking openly when you disagree
These are normal things. Two parents who live apart expect them from each other. They help the plan work for many years.
More about Option A
- A.1Money for the childHow much
- A.2Staying in touchAt each age
- A.3His part in raising the childIn his words
- A.4Who decides whatYour final word
- A.5Your relationship with himNot romantic
- A.6How you get pregnantYour choice
- A.7If he diesHis will
Do you want no contact at all after the birth? Then read Option B: he helps you get pregnant, and then he steps away.