Option A · Raising the child
His part in raising the child
In Option A, the child lives with you and you raise the child. He helps from far away. This page is in his own words: how he sees his part, and what he believes about raising children.
A family does not need to live together
For him, a family does not mean a father at home every day. Care from far away can do a lot for a child. Sometimes it does more than a parent who controls every small part of a child’s life.
What makes a family is a promise for life. The parents give the child what the child needs. They teach good values by their own example. They give advice when it is needed, or when it helps the most. And when life changes for someone in the family, the others accept it and keep supporting them.
The mother and the father, at each age
A young child needs the mother most. In the early years you are there every day, and his part is smaller: he sends money every month, calls, and visits.
As the child grows, he is there more. In the teenage years, a father’s guidance often matters more, and this is when he plans to be there the most. Staying in touch shows how he imagines contact at each age.
Then he follows the child’s interest. If the child wants his guidance, he gives much more of his time and help, for the child’s studies, plans and interests. If the child is not interested in what he cares about, he respects that. He lets the child live their own life, and he does not push. The basic money for the child continues either way.
How he believes children should be raised
He believes children learn discipline through education.
For him, love does not mean giving a child everything. It also means rewarding good behaviour. Then the child learns to live well with other people, and to face the hard parts of life more easily.
He wants a child to grow strong by facing their own problems and learning to solve them. Parents help, but they do not solve every problem for the child.
Support in a family lasts for life, but it is not always the same size. It grows when the people in a family respect each other, work together and share the same values. When that stops, the extra support becomes smaller for a while. The basic support for the child stays.
Faith in the child’s life
He does not follow a religion himself. His own faith is described on the page About him.
He is happy for you to raise the child in your religion. He respects people of faith, and he often finds good ideas in religion himself. He hopes the child also learns about other beliefs, and grows up with an open mind about the world.
Extreme religious views are different. They are one of the things that decide when it is not the right fit.
Who decides
Faith and school are big decisions, and you have the final word on both. He gives his opinion honestly, and then he respects your choice. Who decides what explains how this works.