Option A · Staying in touch
Staying in touch as the child grows
In Option A, he lives far away. This page shows how he imagines contact at each age. It is a starting point for you both, not a fixed timetable.
From birth to age 4
Video calls about once a week, at times that suit both of you. 1 or 2 visits a year. The calls are for the child and for you. They help him get to know the child from the start. They also help the child know his face and voice, so he is never a stranger.
From age 5 to 11
The calls become the child’s own. He takes a real interest in what the child learns and who the child is becoming. Visits happen regularly, about twice a year and sometimes more. You plan them together. He tells you about the things that matter, and he hopes you will do the same.
From age 12 to 18
This is when he hopes to be there the most. He is planning his work so that this is possible. More visits. Trips together, if the child wants them and you agree. And a father who answers the phone when the child calls.
At this age, the child will have their own opinion of him. He knows he must earn the child’s trust over the years. He does not expect it to come automatically.
After 18
His part does not stop when the child turns 18. That is often when a young person needs the most help: with studies, a first job, or money to start a business.
He can help with any of these. How much depends on the young adult: on shared values, on hard work, and on keeping going when it gets difficult. He gives the most to a plan that is worked for. Money for the child explains the two levels of support.
How you decide the rhythm
You decide together how often, when and where. You change it as the child grows. School holidays, illness, moving home, a new job: life changes, and the plan should change with it. What you agree before pregnancy is only the start.